Beowolf. I want my $$$ back!

For the first 15 minutes I thought someone was playing a cruel joke. Perhaps the guy in the projection booth found a reel created by the Shrek 2^nd string. Seriously. Take poor quality Shrek animation, add in Clutch Cargo mouth effects, then stick in some Benny Hill “hide the naughty bits” routine and you have this pitiful waste of time.

The opening shot – I assume this woman is supposed to be attractive. Er, by what bizarre standard? I kept looking for the Adams Apple. The Physics? You know, gravity, water motion, flame movement? Perhaps if we were on the Moon. Motion capture? Oh Christ – I could go on forever. This movie just plain SUCKED ass. Nobody was able to keep their fake accents up for more than a few lines. BTW, what accent was that supposed to be anyway?

The soundtrack. Too lazy to be creative, they used portions of "Away in a Manger" - you know, that Christmas tune, and parts of Gounod's "Ave Maria" - poorly. The rest sounded like some b-grade gaming soundtrack.

Oh, and I had no idea that Beowolf had detachable limbs. Comes in handy I guess...

Save your money. Avoid this dog.